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My Musical Journey
Well, something about Mark's post on Facebook got me reminiscing. "Think of 25 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life or the way you looked at it. They sucked you in and took you over for days, weeks, months, years. These are the albums that you can use to identify time, places, people, emotions."

Well, this rather long post lists the albums that changed my life and why. These are not necessarily good albums, or even my favourite albums. They are, however, albums that marked big changes in my life such as the one that happened last weekend. Most sane people would find this intensely dull and self indulgent, but somehow I feel the need to document my musical journey so far. If you are interested .

1. Mozart - Ave Verum

OK, this might seem a little strange, and lets face it, its not exactly an album! This is the first time a sang 'proper' music, at the age of about 7. Little did I know that I would end up singing 8 times a week in the school choir. Despite being an atheist, I absolutely loved choral music, and still do. I still sing this around the flat. And I've sung it many times 'for real', as a boy treble, alto and tenor.

2. Pink Floyd - The Wall

I have a small confession to make here. I 'borrowed' my sister's limited edition copy of this album. I still have it! When I was 13 I went to boarding school, fully expecting to get the shit kicked out of me. It turned out that I met some great like minded friends... and had the shit kicked out of me. This album reminds me of a time when I was struggling to teach myself to play synths by working out how to play Wright's keyboard playing! R.I.P Rick Wright.

3. Mötley Crüe - Girls, Girls, Girls

Oh dear, what can I say? Again, this is from the same era. Fond memories this time of banging out power chords to this on my sister's acoustic guitar (I stole that too, but I don't feel so bad as she never learnt to play it). In particular, this reminds me of an old friend Rupert Horn aka 'Rupert the Bear' who taught me to play guitar.

4. Black Sabbath - Sabbath Bloody Sabbath

I discovered the dark side of rock. Enough said.

5. The Sisters Of Mercy - First Last And Always

Bet you didn't see that one coming! Ok, I went to University and discovered that there was a lot more to music than cheesy rock. My musical education had been very limited and suddenly I found myself exposed to fascinating new forms of music. The memory this invokes is of smoking pot, incense burning and... frustration. Frustration that I was unable to find a girlfriend, but also that I couldn't find a band that wanted to make (in my ignorant opinion) decent music.

6. The Dead Milkman - ???

I studied in Germany for a year as part of my degree. I didn't go to gigs much, largely because there weren't many in Marburg. I *did* go to this gig though, and it blew my mind. It *was* possible to do rock without being cheesy! To my distorted mind, these guys blow Nirvana out of the water but they may simply be because I saw them a good year before I heard of Nirvana. I can still smell the sweat and stale beer in the club. Maybe its time I had a shower!

7. Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine

This was an strange period of my life - I was back at my home University but all my friends had left already. I made friends with 'Ancient' Ian Collier, who had done a similar exchange program to Italy. He is one of my oldest, bestest friends and helped me fill in my 'back catalogue' of music. Carter USM were not a band I would probably have seen had it not been for Ian. I'm glad he convinced me. I still love this band, but judging by the gig I went to at the end of last year, their fans are c***s.

8. Leftfield - Leftism

After a fairly dark time at University, I found myself with a brand new exciting job in a dead end industry (localization). I didn't know it was a dead end, though, and the whole rave scene was exploding. A great period of my life in so many ways, and in so many others a complete waste of time. I met another good friend, Lee, and moved to Maidenhead, my home for over 10 years. I also started to drank far too much.

9. The Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream

Lee, Mark, 'Scary' Mary and myself banging out cover versions. This is one of the happiest times of my life: good music, great friends and well... I was still single, but who cared?

10. Rammstein - Sehnsucht

Ricarda. She was unaware that I spoke German when I first met her, and in a moment of what I can only assume was passion, she translated the lyrics to this album for me. I never actually went out with her though as I was unable to convey my feelings for her. I still don't know if she even wanted to go out with me!

11. Faure - Requiem

A bit of a curve ball, this one. Throughout all the previous, I had been singing with choirs - even when I was in Germany. This is the last piece of music I sang as part of choir. It also fantastic, if a little cliched. I will see (or sing) this at any and every opportunity. Even if you think you don't know it, you do - its on adverts, its sampled in pop songs (especially, but not exclusively, goth) Speaking of which... I also have fond memory of seeing this with Jane last year.

11. VNV Nation - Praise The Fallen

When I fell out with Ricarda (my own fault, not hers), I wanted to get away from the closed circle of friends I'd been socialising with for six years or more. I had got in to a rut. I googled 'Maidenhead' and 'Goth' and found a wonderful alternative/goth community. These people still form the largest part of my social circle. There is a photo somewhere on the internet of me dancing like a dick to this album, but frankly I don't care - I love the music, and if I look like a dick, tough shit. This also brings back memories of being... *cough* very happy at Slimelight.

12. Cubanate - Oxyacetalene

Anna. Anna was a totally unexpected relationship that lasted for a month, or two tops and then ended. And then came back again. And blew up. *sigh* I was angry when it ended, and this album summed it up. It brings back memories of intense happiness, anger and sadness. To feel loved, used and rejected in eight short weeks. Lovely!

13. Ocular Sinister - Sinister Experiments

OK, now this *is* being self indulgent, but oh my god, I will never forget the fun I had making this. The Schadenfreude material is pretentious shit though. Memories of gigging, stage fright and arse fright (I still don't trust Rooney...)

14. Combichrist - This Shit Will Fuck You Up

Jane. We first met at a Combichrist gig, and then met again at another Combichrist gig a week later. At last my life seemed to be taking shape. However, I stopped making music completely. Its easy, lazy and just plain wrong to blame Jane for that. I just wasn't inspired by the bands or my which seemed to be churning out the same predictable crap, so there just didn't seem to be much point. Besides, I didn't have any worthwhile ideas of my own.. I started to suspect that I was getting old... or middle aged, at least.

15. White Lies - To Lose My Life

Jane again. This time, it was a totally different feeling. Knowing that Jane would rather dance to this tune with someone else. I wasn't going to buy this album as there seem to be only two decent tracks on it, but I think I have to now. It closes the relationship.

16. Joy Division - Closer

This album has been with me for so many years, and I suspect (hope?) it will be for many more. There are few poets or musicians that can so eloquently describe the emotion and frustration of living in the modern world and the pain of being torn between two goals with the only possible outcome failure. This album has helped me through so many dark times, including my current one. Its just a shame it didn't help Ian through his.